Supermodel Envy: My Unfulfilled Quest to Be Eye Candy
For the better part of the last 50 years, I’ve longed be the kind of girl who – when you’re on a guy’s arm – triggers that stupid smile that silently brags, “Look at lucky me.” You know … eye candy....
View ArticleFatty Cat and Me: A Codependent Relationship
I have two cats. One’s a bag of bones and the other’s obese. I love them both, but there’s a special place in my heart for the fat one. We understand each other. Matisse is a scaredy cat that rarely...
View ArticleOllie Ollie Oxen Free, Big Girls!
So I was in the “woman’s department” at Target recently, looking for pants, when I saw this great pair of jeans with an expandable cotton insert in the front. I got all excited, thinking, “Finally....
View ArticleA Picture Paints a 1000 Twinkies: 10 Rules for Photographing the Bride
I hate my wedding photos … not just the photos taken by my photographer, but every candid shot taken by friends and family, and every picture from every disposable camera put on every table. Now let me...
View ArticleOh Crap. I Forgot to Diet for Swimsuit Season!
Summer: the one time of year I actually think it might not be so bad to join a religious sect that wears robes. Each year, women all over the Western world face a dreaded unveiling … an event requiring...
View ArticleLife Ain’t a Big Buffet Old Chum
A group of us were out for a co-worker’s birthday at one of those “healthier choice” buffet restaurants that’s named after a vegetable, but has enough soups, pastas, breads and cakes to feed a small...
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